Pics
Try to contain your excitement, ladies…
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This is me performing stand-up for ‘Fridays Live’, the cable access show that made me famous to all North-Southeastern Ohio residents without cable but with a really strong antenna on clear nights. I am keenly aware that most other humans would shower or shave - or even both - before going in front of a camera. But I’m not most people. I’m much worse at life.
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This is a near-silhouette of me mentally preparing outside of an open mic in DC. Or maybe I’m pouting that I will never look as cool with a bald head as black people do. You decide.
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For those of you who don’t know, I have some very serious acting credits on my resume’. This film was about a retarded boy who gets testicular cancer but doesn’t understand it. A real tear-jerker. Why did we try to tackle such a serious issue with a 30-dollar video camera we got off E-bay? In a single Saturday afternoon?
Look, I just acted, okay? I wasn’t producing the film. (It was called “A Tard’s Nards”…to be honest, the lack of pre-production really doomed the film. We decided to make it that morning, and we had to use a plant in place of a retarded person. It actually came out in really poor taste.)
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This is a very confusing picture of Bryson. Who is the kid? Why a tennis court? So many questions…
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Apparently, there is a portrait of me in the Louvre. Is it called a portrait if it’s a painting and not a picture? All I’d have to do is take 10 seconds to go to dictionary.com. Nope. I’m just gonna call it a portrait.
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Oh, and for anyone who wanted or expected to see actual headshots or things of that nature…why? Why would you want to see professional shots when you can see candid ones instead?
